Awkward Phone Sex
by Jo Lupin After Dark
Summary: Kurt sends some sexy texts at an inopportune time. Rated M for snoopy Cooper.


Blaine had no idea why they were celebrating his aunt's birthday at his house, but that didn't change the fact that they were. He sighed from his place at the table. All the adults were fawning over Cooper, talking about his latest callbacks, the celebrities he'd met. _Someone save me._

Almost on cue, Blaine's phone vibrated in his pocket.

From Kurt: Ask me what I'm wearing right now.

He texted back immediately.

From Blaine: Oh thank god. Thank you for saving me from this boredom.

From Kurt: You didn't ask me what I'm wearing. :(

Blaine hid a smirk.

From Blaine: Okay. What are you wearing?

From Kurt: Nothing. ;)

Blaine turned bright red. He was with his _family. _He couldn't jerk off to his boyfriend's texts in the bathroom.

Could he?

"Excuse me," he said, coughing. Cooper raised an eyebrow. Blaine replied with a shut-up-if-you-want-both-your-testicles look. The adults didn't even notice Blaine leave.

Once he was locked safely inside the bathroom, Blaine tapped out a text.

From Blaine: I'm wearing clothes, but I think I should fix that.

From Kurt: Hmmm… What if I tear off your shirt? Then I'd unbutton your pants with my teeth.

_Oh god._

Blaine was hard in his pants. He pulled them off and kicked them aside, along with his underwear. He squirted some lotion onto his hand, using the other to call Kurt. He picked up on the first ring. "Hey, baby."

"_Kurt,_" Blaine moaned into the phone.

"Found it too hard to text with one hand?"

"Uh-huh."

"_Me too_," Kurt whispered.

Blaine shivered. "So. What would you do after you took off my pants with your teeth?"

"Well, I'd probably do the same with your underwear. Then I'd let you take off all my clothes. They'd just fall to the floor, but I'm not worried about them getting wrinkled, because I'm so hard for you."

Blaine stifled a groan, all too aware of his family just down the hall. He was stroking his cock now, starting off slow. "I'm so hard for you, too. I'd kiss you. Strike that- I'd plunder your mouth. I'd taste all the way down your throat."

"But I'd be too impatient. I'd need you to fuck me. I'd beg you."

"Okay, then. I'd fuck you, but I'd tease you first."

Kurt growled- actually _growled_- on the other end.

Blaine continued, stroking himself a little faster. "I'd lube up my fingers, and I'd swipe one finger up and down your crack. Then I'd press my finger right up against your hole, but I wouldn't go in. Not just yet. You'd push back against my hand, but I wouldn't let you get anywhere."

"Damn you."

"Then, really slowly, I'd push one finger inside you. I'd thrust it a few times so you can get used to it, then I'd add another finger. I'd curl them up just right so that they hit your fuck button."

"Oh, god, Blaine, I love it when you say 'fuck button.'"

"Oh, I'd hit your fuck button over and over again. Then I'd add another finger, thrusting until you're begging for me to be inside you."

"Yes, Blaine, please, _please,_" Kurt moaned wantonly. Blaine's strokes were getting harder and harder, and he was thrusting into his hand.

"So I'd enter you and fuck you against the wall. Oh, Kurt, I'd fuck you so hard you could feel my cock all over."

"I'd be so tight around you, Blaine," Kurt said breathlessly. "I'd grab your back with my nails because you feel _so good,_ and I'd leave marks, but you wouldn't care."

"Oh, yeah. That would only make me fuck you harder. You wouldn't be able to process anything but my cock pounding into you. And I'd stroke your cock in time with my thrusts. It would feel so good…"

He heard Kurt shout on the other end of the line, imagining him coming all over himself, and that pushed him over the edge. He had to put down the phone and muffle a cry as his orgasm hit him. He allowed himself a few moments to recover, then cleaned himself up and washed his hands.

Kurt was still on the line when he picked up his phone again.

"Did you come, baby?" Kurt asked sweetly.

"Yeah, I did."

"Me, too."

"I could tell."

"I love you, baby."

"I love you, too. Talk to you later?"

"Yep."

"Okay."

They hung up, and Blaine straightened his hair a bit before he came in to face his family.

"Heyyyyyy, Blaine…"

Blaine gave Cooper a death glare.

Moments later, he got a text.

From Coop: We r totes talkin bout this l8r. ;)


End file.
